Sweet cadence arise
My heart springs into action
With the call of sap rising.
Born with a spark that is mine…
I was listening to music with my fourteen year old daughter yesterday – belting out One-D songs at the top of our lungs while driving with the top down (lucky us!) – and woke this morning with the lyrics of one of the songs in my head…it goes something like this “if this room was burning, I wouldn’t even notice. ‘Cause you been taking up my mind. With your little white lies, little white lies…” of course the song is about someone else but what if we took that home and looked at all the little white lies we are constantly telling ourselves that are, literally, burning up our will to live?
And the song keeps pestering me, those particular lyrics, and I began thinking about what is burning in me? What is the fire that I keep trying to put out, to squelch, that has me sludging through my days rather than celebrating?
All of us are born with a spark inside that is uniquely ours – a spark that will burn and flame and direct us if fanned from within yet we look outside of ourselves to keep our fire going. We look outside of ourselves for direction, for purpose, for something to do and the longing for this unique spark to be met is extraordinary and…when it isn’t met I think we try to destroy it. We despair of ever finding a place and instead of going inside and fanning the flame ourselves, listening deeply to the sound that flame makes that is our and ours alone – we do our best to let it burn out, to put it out, believing that somehow, someway, in doing that we will find a home outside of ourselves, a place in the world, and meanwhile the spark refuses to die – when it dies so do you – and what rises in its place is despair, self-destructive behavior, anger…what would happen if we listened to what our spark is saying and followed it even in small ways? What if we met ourselves? I think this is one of the tasks of growing ourselves up…I begin again, today, to listen to a spark that has grown faint – to fan it from within and see if I can get a fire growing down in my soul that places me perfectly on this planet, exactly where I am to BE and let whatever doing rise from there.
There are other tasks as well which each of us point to in our own ways – differentiating from parents, becoming financially independent, navigating intimate relationships, finding work that inspires and doing what is needed along the way, educating ourselves through the process of formal education but also through the experience of living more and if that wasn’t daunting enough…learning how to navigate change and stay alive in our own lives!
So, take a breath, stretch your arms out wide, bring them in tight around yourself for a hug and open them wide again. Feel your feet on the floor, notice where you are connected. Close your eyes and listen. There is a flame inside that is always burning and it is yours, only yours…what can you do today that is a bow towards that part of you? An expression of the gift of you on this planet? How can you move into your life?!